I've been reading Matt Haig's book 'Reasons to Stay Alive,' which recounts his experience of severe anxiety and depression, including a breakdown at the age of 24. Reading a book about anxiety while managing my own anxiety is an interesting experience. Mostly I have found it really helpful. It's not a cheerful read, but so much of what Haig writes resonates with me. I was particularly struck by a beautiful quotation from Lord Byron, which echoes the title of this blog:
And thus the heart will break, yet brokenly live on.
Anxiety is something I have lived with for as long as I can remember. It ebbs and flows, receding into the background for long periods of time, and then rearing its head at times of stress and transition. When the pandemic began, it suddenly felt like the whole world was like the inside of my head. I've suffered from OCD in the past, and fear of passing on bugs suddenly felt like a rational response to a terrible situation.
In this five-minute video, Andy and I talk about fear and anxiety, and discuss how our faith interacts with these feelings.